I feel a bit uncomfortable writing bcoz I’m afraid eventually my friends will figure out about this blog and read all my writing and judge again.huhu
Everything is OK now,or we pretend to be OK with it.I dunno.And I dunno what is my current feeling. I guess if I can describe it in one word,it would be DOUBT.
I doubt I still have feelings towards you.
I doubt your words coz every time I open my whatsapp application and see you online a moment ago,it makes me crash a little inside.Knowing that you are in touch with her or another her.or a new her.or whoever.
and I feel intimidated by her, I’m afraid if I will soon meet her and I dun have any plan in my head what should I say,or should I even need to say anything if I bump into her?
I had two dreams that seems related. I dunno whether it’s a sign from God or it’s just dreams. Both are related to her.
I become pathetic and check on her fb profile eventho I know I cannot open anything since it’s private.
I dunno what is really happening here.
I DUNNO.
I dunno why I care too much to even care about this while I have things that can take my mind away from this.
I should think more about my interview next week. I don’t want to put my hope so high but I want to do my best.
I should choreograph more songs for my Zumba class, it has been so fun and I wanted it to be something that I can do for the rest of my life.
I guess I also feel NUMB, no more pain.
I don’t feel excited to receive or even bother to text you bcoz I’m afraid you will tear my heart again.
Crap, I must be in PMS now coz I’m rambling at my best and my words are everywhere.
Is it just hormone or what?
Goodnight
p/s:I miss the affection we used to have:(
