You always said that I’m the only one who gets you. And that at the end of the day you’ll always need me. And no matter what, I’d be there in a heartbeat when you needed me. Maybe I do that cos I’m hopelessly in love with you. Or maybe, it’s with the hope that you’ll finally realise the truth. Or maybe I just want to feel needed by you. But its also because of the simple fact that if someone you love needs you, you drop everything and be by their side. No questions.
Having you would have made it a tad easier. It wouldn’t be a goodbye to you cos you’re already elsewhere, but you would have been my safe zone. There is still a lot of friction at home, despite the fact I’m leaving. And I can’t tell you about how it’s killing me.
I can’t tell you cos you somehow decided that I make things difficult. And I’m trying to be as selfless as possible and leave you be. Sometimes it’s hard. What did you think last night’s text was about? Did you think I was trying to be cute? Did you think I was trying to be all girly and flirty? Fuck no. I texted you that cos I just didnt know how else to make you talk to me so that I could lean on you. It even took me to reread it 10 times before I convinced myself to press ‘send’. Plan fail btw.
I finally told you the three words..and you reply back with thousands of sorry. For once I just want someone who appreciate me.Is it too much to ask for?I know you still have issues and everybody made mistakes but well. :((
It’s in these moments when I realize my foolishness and the floodgates just crumble down. But what’s the point. Tomorrow, I’ll read an old text and everything will be back to square one. Ten steps back.
I would say fuck you. But in all honesty, fuck me, for being this stupid.